Conan Can't Compete With Lopez Tonight

I'm not sure if this is breaking news but....there has been a mega huge shit-storm going on between Late Night heavy-weights Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno. Everyone knows that Leno was at the top of 11:35 TV, then bumped for Conan to keep him from jumping to another network, and then put on at 10pm and bumping such shows as the incredibly underrated "Southland." Needless to say, NBC fucked up. Now, they are backpedaling and looking to put Leno back to 11:35. Conan is pissed, Leno looks like an asshole, and everyone hates NBC. Once again, this is breaking news.

What began as a scheduling conflict has turned in to moronic name calling and overall whininess. Everyone from Jimmy Kimmel to Rosie O'Donnell has stated their opinion on the situation but none of it matters. The one thing that has been proven throughout the last seven months is: David Letterman is funnier than all of them.

I must admit, I was pretty excited when Conan O'Brien was given "The Tonight Show." Why? Because Jay Leno is best defined as: Old Lady Humor. Old Lady Humor is a safe, obvious approach to jokes where the punchline is seen from a mile away. The reasons why old ladies find it so funny is because that it is lame (and old ladies are lame) and most of the time, there is a sexual undertone so the old ladies can feel hip that they find it funny. Other offenders of Old Lady Humor are shows such as "The Big Bang Theory", "How I Met Your Mother", and "Two and a Half Men." It shouldn't be surprising that these shows are all on CBS because that is the same network that brought us "JAG."

That's what makes David Letterman so great. He is delivering night in and night out on the king of Old Lady Humor networks. Letterman is the anti-old lady humorist because he is a smug asshole who sleeps with interns. That is what makes him so hilarious. Jay Leno looks like a guy who would charm a line in the grocery store. Not exactly what you want in late night television.

Well even with Conan taking on the earlier time slot, I still find myself tuning into Letterman every night. Why? Because Letterman doesn't give a fuck. He is rude to his guests and just seems like the kind of guy you don't want to cross. Case in point: When world class douche bag, Spencer Pratt, went on Letterman.



The only other person that came close to ripping into Spencer like that was Al Roker. I doubt you would see either Leno or Conan dare to treat a guest that poorly.

If there was a point to this post, it would be that it doesn't matter who wins the late night war between Leno and Conan. You should just be watching David Letterman instead.