The Worst Follow Ups In Recent Memory

First off, let's get this out of the way: John Mayer is a jackass. I really like his music and I think he is pretty funny on Twitter, but he has a bit of jackassness to him that was proven in his infamous "Playboy" interview where he talked in depth about masturbating and then dropped a racial slur. But that wasn't what bothered me the most about that interview. What did was when the author of the story said that Mayer's newest album, "Battle Studies" was his best album yet. When I read that, I dropped my Hot Pocket right in my lap. "Battle Studies" sucks. There is one song that I really like (Heartbreak Warfare), 2 or 3 that I think are okay, and then the rest of it just isn't very good. It's like his record label called him up and said, "Uhhh John, you were supposed to release an album a week ago." and Mayer freaked out and wrote 11 songs in 15 minutes. What is really disappointing about it is that I really like John Mayer's previous three albums. I thought his previous release, "Continuum", was fantastic. He went from an acoustic guy to a straight up blues singer. He had really great songs that felt heartfelt. Now...he is doing duets with the likes of Taylor Swift. He went from doing songs like this:



To this:


Ugh.

This got me to thinking. Who else has just completely gone from putting out a great album to putting out something better suited for a dumpster?

Weezer Pinkerton to The Green Album

Went from this:


To an album that featured a song that was in an Olsen Twins movie.


The worst thing about this? The Green Album isn't even in the top 3 for worst Weezer albums.

Dashboard Confessional The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most to A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar

Shut up, Dashboard used to be awesome.

Went from this:


To this:


Dashboard went from intimate to douchey in one album. Plus, that has to be one of the worst videos I have ever seen. If I wanted to listen to Dashboard with electric guitars, I would listen to Further Seems Forever. I bet no one gets that.

Death Cab For Cutie Plans to Narrow Stairs

This was the first time that I had ever been disappointed in anything that Ben Gibbard has ever been involved in. But something about his latest release just rubs me the wrong way. I really like only 3 or 4 songs on the album and get pretty bored by all the cliche lyrics that he scatters throughout the album.

Went From:


To this unforgivable piece of garbage:


The Killers Hot Fuss to Sam's Town

This has to be number one for my most disappointed follow up albums. I love Hot Fuss. There is not a song on the album that I don't like and seriously, who doesn't love "Mr. Brightside"? I was very excited when the Killers released "When You Were Young" as the first single because that's a great song. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for any other song on the album. I find the whole album to be best defined as cheesy.

Went from this:


To this:


I'm sure there will be a disgruntled Taylor Swift fan who will find this and leave a hateful comment.

Look at that tranny in the back!

Conan Can't Compete With Lopez Tonight

I'm not sure if this is breaking news but....there has been a mega huge shit-storm going on between Late Night heavy-weights Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno. Everyone knows that Leno was at the top of 11:35 TV, then bumped for Conan to keep him from jumping to another network, and then put on at 10pm and bumping such shows as the incredibly underrated "Southland." Needless to say, NBC fucked up. Now, they are backpedaling and looking to put Leno back to 11:35. Conan is pissed, Leno looks like an asshole, and everyone hates NBC. Once again, this is breaking news.

What began as a scheduling conflict has turned in to moronic name calling and overall whininess. Everyone from Jimmy Kimmel to Rosie O'Donnell has stated their opinion on the situation but none of it matters. The one thing that has been proven throughout the last seven months is: David Letterman is funnier than all of them.

I must admit, I was pretty excited when Conan O'Brien was given "The Tonight Show." Why? Because Jay Leno is best defined as: Old Lady Humor. Old Lady Humor is a safe, obvious approach to jokes where the punchline is seen from a mile away. The reasons why old ladies find it so funny is because that it is lame (and old ladies are lame) and most of the time, there is a sexual undertone so the old ladies can feel hip that they find it funny. Other offenders of Old Lady Humor are shows such as "The Big Bang Theory", "How I Met Your Mother", and "Two and a Half Men." It shouldn't be surprising that these shows are all on CBS because that is the same network that brought us "JAG."

That's what makes David Letterman so great. He is delivering night in and night out on the king of Old Lady Humor networks. Letterman is the anti-old lady humorist because he is a smug asshole who sleeps with interns. That is what makes him so hilarious. Jay Leno looks like a guy who would charm a line in the grocery store. Not exactly what you want in late night television.

Well even with Conan taking on the earlier time slot, I still find myself tuning into Letterman every night. Why? Because Letterman doesn't give a fuck. He is rude to his guests and just seems like the kind of guy you don't want to cross. Case in point: When world class douche bag, Spencer Pratt, went on Letterman.



The only other person that came close to ripping into Spencer like that was Al Roker. I doubt you would see either Leno or Conan dare to treat a guest that poorly.

If there was a point to this post, it would be that it doesn't matter who wins the late night war between Leno and Conan. You should just be watching David Letterman instead.

More "Best of the Decade" Crap

That's right! I don't post anything for 10 months and now I'm doing it on back to back days. Who knows, maybe I will create a Bottomless Chips Twitter account so you can find out what I am thinking every second of every day.

Yesterday, I went over the greatest albums of the decade according to a one man panel made up of myself. Today I am going over the greatest television shows of the decade. Tomorrow I will go over the top 10 Stool Samples of the 2000s.

Top 10 Television Shows of the Decade:

10. Scrubs (2001-Present)

This show is the biggest hit or miss show ever. There are some days when the show is the funniest show on the planet and others when you just want it to end. The JD and Turk relationship is always fantastic and is really the only reason why I like it as much as I do. I thought that it was supposed to end last year but apparently ABC refuses to let it die.



9. Dexter (2006-present)

I just recently got into this show and have only gotten through 3 seasons. Otherwise, this might be higher than it currently is on this list. But I really enjoy it. The only problem is that I really only like the character of Dexter. I truly despise every other character on the show. But Dexter is great.



8. The OC (2003-2007)

Laugh it up. Season 1 and the last 4 episodes of season 2 are the greatest pieces of television ever. The cast was funny, dramatic, and with the exception of Mischa Barton, they were very likable. Unfortunately, there was most of season 2 and all of 3+4. Those seasons are the definition of shit.

My favorite scene has to be from Caleb Nichol's funeral. The music selection makes the scene.


7. LOST (2004-Present)

It took me a while to cave to this show....but it's awesome. I guess this is the last season of the show which is great because I just want to know what the fuck is going on.

This is the introduction of Desmond who is easily the best character on the show.


6. Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000-Present)

I wish I was Larry David. He sleeps in a gigantic mansion, just letting money roll through his bedroom window due to Seinfeld being in syndication. Also, he is way funnier than me.



5. The Office (2005-Present)

People (mostly hipster fucks) always say, "The British Office is sooo much better than the American version." They then take a drag from a cigarette and get mocked by everyone they went to high school with. Well, I tried to watch the British one and I couldn't understand a fucking word they were saying! So I like the American version way more. The show started off so promising and really could have been number 1 on this list. But like Scrubs, NBC should let it die soon. Because the newer episodes are downright garbage.



4. Friday Night Lights (2006-Present)

I love this show. Despite NBCs best efforts, it won't go away. And I never want it to.



3. Arrested Development (2003-2006)

Everyone's favorite canceled show. It only had one full season and two shorter seasons. Seriously, what the fuck was FOX thinking?



2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005-Present)

This was another show that I only recently got in to. It is the most crude, vulgar, and funniest show ever made. The writers have uncovered the greatest secret in the history of comedy...Danny Devito being disgusting.



1. The Wire (2002-2008)

There is not even any other option. This show is the best writing, acting, and storyline I have ever witnessed. Cutty, Stringer, Michael Lee, Snoop, Chris, Mcnulty, the list keeps going and going. There will never ever be a better show than The Wire.

Albums of the Decade

The most annoying thing on the planet is when douche bags claim that a decade cannot end on a year that ends with nine because there wasn't a year zero. This was a rule created by Red Sox fans because it is the only way they can claim that the Red Sox had a better decade than the Yankees. This is usually followed by them biting into a ham & cheese Hot Pocket and having the bottom fall out all over their high school hockey team's sweatpants. Seriously, if you think that 1990 is a part of the 80s, then you are a fucking moron. And don't give me the "But the Gregorian Calender says..." bullshit. If we had any readers, then I'm sure there would be one asshole who would say there is still one year left in the decade. If you think that...kill yourself.

I've read a lot of "Best of the Decade" lists lately and I wanted to add my own. Since the birth of this blog, Mike had ordained me as "the music guy." So I figured that I would make a list of the best albums of the 2000's. If Mike made this list, it would consist on Ra Ra Riot and the 2010 lineup for the Lilith Fair.

On The Outside Looking In:
Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002)
Bloc Party - Silent Alarm (2005)
Manchester Orchestra - I'm Like a Virgin Losing a Child (2006)

The Top 10 Albums of the 2000s

10. John Mayer - Heavier Things (2003)

This album doesn't really fit in with the rest on this list but there is no denying that this is a great album. He separated himself from the likes of Jack Johnson and Howie Day. He ditched the acoustic guitar and embraced guitar solos and better song writing. Mayer followed up Heavier Things with the tremendous Continuum in 2006. Unfortunately,he took a major step backwards with 2009's Battle Studies.

Clarity:


9. Radiohead - Hail to the Thief(2003)

Everything this band does is gold. They could technically have four albums on this list but I didn't want to clog the list up with one band.

Myxomatosis:



8. Brand New - The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me (2006)

Brand New would have been huge in the grunge era. This album is the In Utero of the 2000s. Loud and tremendous.

Jesus Christ:


7. Modest Mouse - Good News For People Who Love Bad News (2004)

I still like The Lonesome Crowded West more but that was released in 1997. But this album is pretty damn good too.

Satin in a Coffin:


6. Blink 182 - Self-Titled (2003)

This was the apex of guitarist's Tom Delonge's song-writing ability. Unfortunately, he totally crapped out in Angels and Airwaves. So God knows what the new Blink album will sound like.

Obvious:


5. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism (2003)

Ben Gibbard can do no wrong. This is his best work.

Title and Registration:


4. Interpol - Turn on The Bright Lights (2002)

Interpol came in with an explosion with a tremendous debut in 2002. Every album since has been a downgrade. While still great, nothing compares with this album.

Obstacle 1:


3. Arcade Fire - Funeral (2004)

The best thing to come out of Canada since Larry Walker. They haven't released anything since Neon Bible in 2007. Which doesn't sound that long ago but I eagerly await it.

Wake Up (With David Bowie!):


2. Brand New - Deja Entendu (2003)

The second time Brand New has graced this great list. Brand New has kind of evolved in a similar way to John Mayer. They both burst on the scene with a sound that tied them into other bands. Mayer with acoustic melodies and Brand New with pop-punk. But like Mayer, Brand New took their sophomore release to a new level and created a sound that is all their own. They have continued to evolve and are a band who continues to sound different with every album they release.

Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades:


1. Radiohead - Kid A (2000)

Basically the whole decade was a disappointment after this. Radiohead started the decade with one of the greatest albums of all time and no one really had a shot to compete.

The National Anthem:


That's the decade. I'm predicting that Lady Gaga will have the best 9 albums of the next decade with Everclear having the one other.